Before you decide someone is difficult, ask yourself this:

Do they know what effect they are having on you?

Many people do not realise how they come across.
Not because they do not care.
Because they are busy, stressed, fast or focused on something else.

That one question can reduce blame and open the door to a better conversation.

Quick Win:
Before your next hard conversation, replace
“They should know”
with
“Have I actually told them?”

And yes, this one came from a client conversation this morning. Thank you. You know who you are. 

A square dance caller shouts a move. You’ve got about two seconds. Nobody checks a handbook.

I’m a square dancer. Nobody in my group learned the steps by studying them. We learnt by moving – going the wrong way, laughing, turning around and trying again.

That moment in English when someone asks you something and your brain wants to check the grammar first? Same urge. Same pause.

But the caller doesn’t wait. Neither does a conversation.

Your next sentence will teach you more than your next grammar exercise.

Quick win. When you feel that pause coming, step anyway. One wrong move won’t stop the dance.

💬 When did you last keep going – even mid-sentence?

You know that moment when you meet an English word on the page – one you’ve never said out loud — and suddenly you’re guessing at every syllable?

In German, that rarely happens. If you can read it, you can say it.

English has been borrowing words for over a thousand years –French, Latin, Old Norse and plenty more. The spellings often came along for the ride. That’s why ‘tough’ rhymes with ‘tuff’, ‘bough’ rhymes with ‘bow’, and past-tense ‘read’ sounds like ‘red’.

It looks like a mess, but it’s an old mess.

And yes: native speakers guess too. A lot. They just say it, keep talking and adjust later if they need to.

Next time a word throws you, say your best version out loud and move on. That’s how the word starts to stick.

💬 Which English word has tripped you up lately?

Tongue twisters do this great thing… They make failure harmless.

You know the moment when you try one and your tongue ties itself in knots – and you laugh anyway? That’s what speaking English can feel like, if you let it.

Most English conversations feel heavy. As if there’s one correct sentence out there and you need to find it before you open your mouth. Tongue twisters cut that pressure. Messing up is the point. (I still crash into “she sells seashells” every time.)

Your mouth learns by doing. The stumble is the practice.

Quick win. Say “red lorry, yellow lorry” five times, fast. When you trip – and you will – laugh and keep going.

💬 Which tongue twister always gets you?

Welcome to this week’s Sparks Plus. Short reflections and examples to help you speak up, respond and disagree in English without putting extra pressure on yourself. Six short sections. Easy to read. Designed to reduce effort, not add more.

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 1️⃣ Quick Win – What to say when your brain needs a moment

The meeting moves fast. Someone asks you something directly – maybe your opinion, maybe a number you weren’t expecting. Your brain needs three seconds, but the silence feels like thirty.

Most professionals either rush an answer that doesn’t quite sound like them or apologise before they’ve started.

There’s a third option.

✔ “Let me think for a second.”
✔ “Good question. Can I come back to you on that?”
✔ “I want to make sure I give you the right answer.”

These phrases buy time without losing the room. They sound considered, not lost. And the pause that follows reads as thought, not confusion.

Quick win: Choose one phrase before your next meeting. Use it once. Notice how the room responds.

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2️⃣ Real-World English in Action

A client blanked in a video call recently. She said:

“Erm… moment please… I am thinking…“

It worked – she bought her time – but she felt embarrassed afterwards.

Here’s what she uses now:

✔ “Bear with me.”
✔ “Just thinking that through…”
✔ “Let me pull that up.” (when she’s looking for information)

Same pause. Different feeling — for her and for the room.

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3️⃣ Micro Clarity Tip — Silence reads differently than you think

In international meetings, a two-second pause before answering reads as thoughtful, not uncertain.

The instinct to fill that silence immediately – with “erm,” “well,” “you know” – often comes from nerves, not necessity. The pause doesn’t need covering.

One small shift: when you feel the urge to fill the silence, take a breath instead. The pause belongs to you.

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 4️⃣ Tip of the Week – “by” vs. “until”

This one catches even confident English speakers.

By = deadline. The action happens at some point before that moment.
Until = duration. The action continues up to that moment.

“I’ll send this by Friday” – it arrives on Friday or earlier.
“I’ll be in the office until Friday” – you’re there all week and leave on Friday.

Worth a quick check in scheduling emails. One word, significant difference.

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 5️⃣ Reader Question

Q: Is it rude to ask someone to repeat themselves in English?

No, and it happens in every international meeting. Asking for repetition shows you’re paying attention, not zoning out.

These all work well:

✔ “Sorry, could you say that again?”
✔ “I didn’t quite catch that.”
✔ “Could you slow down slightly? I want to make sure I understand.”

The third one is worth remembering. It’s direct, warm and signals engagement rather than difficulty.

(Honestly? Native speakers ask for repetition too. Understanding matters more than catching every word.)

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 6️⃣ Spotlight

If this week’s topic came up at work – that moment before you speak, the silence you weren’t sure how to fill – reply and tell me what happened. Real situations make the best future sections.

And if you have a colleague who hesitates in English at work, you’re welcome to forward the daily Sparks their way. Free, five days a week, two minutes to read.

They can subscribe here: https://english-trainer.de/sparks/

More grammar knowledge won’t fix the hesitation. Using the language will.

Most professionals I work with have studied English for years. They know the rules. But in meetings, there’s still that split second right before they speak… the throat-tightening moment when a voice says, not yet.

They’re waiting to feel ready.

Readiness doesn’t come first. Speaking does. Speaking creates it.

Think of it like music. You can study notes for months. You only learn what playing feels like when your fingers hit the keys.

Quick win: Next time you feel that pause, say one sentence anyway. Keep it short. Spoken and a bit messy beats silent and perfect.

💬 When did you last speak before you felt ready?