You’ve probably been wishing people a happy new year.

Perhaps you’ve also been asking, “How was your Christmas break?”—and been receiving general answers. Something like, “Oh it was good, thank you. And yours?”

Such undemanding questions—questions that are easy to answer and don’t require much thought or effort—get simple answers. 

You might like to delve a little deeper.

Try:

• What was the most memorable part of your holiday season?
• Did you get a chance to try any new holiday traditions or activities?
• How did you relax and recharge during the break?

Questions like these can encourage others to think more deeply or widely about a topic, and to consider their own beliefs and perspectives.

Which question would you ask?

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undemanding – anspruchslos
to delve deeper into  = tiefer eintauchen, vertiefen

Do you know anything about the scientific instruments the Curies used?

Do you find their research on radioactivity easy to understand?

This comic (actually it’s a cross between a comic, animation, historical novel and science lesson) teaches us in a clear but entertaining way.

What’s more, it’s beautifully illustrated.

So French, if you know what I mean.

(Thank you, Sigrid Alexander for pointing this out to me.)

I love sharing information with others. 

Not only can it help others learn and grow. It can also be a good way to build connections and strengthen relationships.

Today, for example, I received a newsletter from Lean In Circles and thought it might interest my client Florian. (Okay, I know it’s for women in the workplace, but Florian is very open-minded and I thought it could be something for him.)

But, of course, I don’t know.

And as I don’t want to make Florian feel as if he has to read something just because I sent it to him, I always add the words “rainy-day reading” to the subject line.

It’s my way of letting Florian know that my email is not urgent and can be read whenever he feels like reading it.

It’s reading material I think he might enjoy on a rainy or dreary day when he has some extra time on his hands. 

Perhaps this is a practice you might like to adopt?

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dreary – trüb, trostlos
adopt – annehmen, übernehmen

A field is empty, but if you put in the effort to grow something then you will have a garden. And that’s life. Give something, something will come back. Give nothing, nothing will come back. To grow a flower is a miracle: it means you can grow more. Remember that a flower is not just a flower, it is the start of a whole garden.”

Take a look at Marissa Solomon Shandell’s artwork.

What do your conversations look like?

Do you skip the small talk and dive into deep conversations straightaway?

Or do you start with small talk and gradually move to deeper topics?

Whichever tactic you use, it helps to have some “deep” conversation starters up your sleeve.

These might work for you:

• What does it mean to live a good life?
• How have your strengths helped you to succeed?
• What is the hardest decision you have ever had to make?
• What are your biggest goals for your life?
• Where do you find meaning in your life?
• What do you value most in other people?
• What is the best piece of advice you have received?

Do you have a deep conversation starter that always works?