Do you really have to do that activity or do you choose to do it?

Marshall Rosenberg, the father of non-violent communication, suggests a simple activity that can help us reframe our lives. He recommends these three steps:


  1. What do you do in your life that you don’t experience as playful? List on a piece of paper all those things that you tell yourself you have to do. List any activity you dread but do anyway because you perceive yourself to have no choice.
  2. After completing your list, clearly acknowledge to yourself that you are doing these things because you choose to do them, not because you have to. Insert the words “I choose to … ” in front of each item you listed.
  3. After having acknowledged that you choose to do a particular activity, get in touch with the intention behind your choice by completing the statement, “I choose to … because I want …”

You might be amazed at the results!