If you’re looking for an answering machine message, you might like to try this one here (but please don’t take it too seriously!):

“Hello there, I’m not at home at the moment but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Just wait for the beep.”

Or try this one:

“Hi there, you’re talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need new windows or a hot tub and, yes, their carpets are clean. They give to a local charity and don’t need their pictures taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you later.”