Trying To Sound Supportive… but It Backfires?

Blame this one little word: but.

Words carry weight.
And some — like but — can quietly undo what came before them.

Let’s look at this:

🗣 “I like your idea, but I think we need to do more research.”

What do you really hear?
Probably not the praise.
The word “but” makes it sound like the first part doesn’t matter.

Now try this:

🗣 “I like your idea, and I think we need to do more research.”

Both thoughts feel valid.
You feel heard and encouraged.

💡 Swapping but for and is a small shift with big impact.
Especially when giving feedback, offering suggestions or disagreeing gently.

Of course, there’s still a time and place for but.
But (see what I did there?) — try “and” next time.

You might be surprised how much easier it is to connect, not correct.

👉 Have you tried this? Did it change how people responded?