Have you ever been stuck in a conversation, desperately looking for the exit? Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. 

Today, let’s learn some fun and polite ways to end a chat.

But please note… The following exit strategies are meant to be taken with a generous pinch of salt and a hearty chuckle.

While these tips might get you out of a conversation, they might not win you any ‘Most Polite Person of the Year’ awards. Use at your own risk.

1. The Classic “Look at the Time!” Trick ⌚ “Oh no! Is that the time? I didn’t realise my pet goldfish needed feeding!” (Spoiler: Your goldfish is probably fine. It’s you who needs saving!)
2. The Fake Phone Call 📱 Pretend your phone is vibrating. “Sorry, I have to take this. It’s my… uh… dentist?” (Pro tip: Make sure your phone isn’t on silent mode first!)
3. The “I Need to Go” Honesty Approach 🚶‍♀️ “It’s been great talking, but I need to go now. My Netflix won’t watch itself!” (Bonus points if you have a show waiting for you)
4. The Future Plan Maker 🗓️ “Let’s continue this another time. How about we meet again when pigs fly… I mean, next week?” (Just remember to bring your flying pig to the next meeting)
5. The Compliment Exit 💐 “This has been such a nice chat. You’re so interesting, I could talk to you all day… but I won’t!” (Flattery will get you everywhere… including out of conversations)
6. The Toilet Excuse 🚽 “Excuse me, I need to use the toilet. It’s been lovely talking!” (The oldest trick in the book, but it still works!)
7. The Group Escape 👥 If you’re at a party, say: “I should go mingle. There’s a plant in the corner I haven’t talked to yet!” (Who knows, that plant might be a great listener)

Remember, the key to ending a conversation is to be polite, but firm. And if all else fails, you can always pretend you’ve suddenly forgotten how to speak English. “Sorry, no English. Goodbye!“

What’s your favourite way to end a conversation? 

Ditch the Dull! Let’s craft an out-of-office message that’s as special as you are.

But how can we transform your out-of-office messages from a snoozefest to a conversation starter?

• Be Clear: Tell everyone when you’ll be back (e.g., “I’ll be back on Monday, ready to tackle your emails with ninja-like efficiency“).
• Offer Help: Got a trusty colleague? Mention them as a point of contact for urgent matters.
• Spice it Up: Humour goes a long way. “Temporarily out of order. Expecting a full system reboot by [date].“
• Share a Bit: Are you off on an adventure? Attending a square dancing convention? Feel free to share.
• Set Expectations: Will you respond while you’re away? Mention if they should reach out when you return.

My out-of-office email template

Subject: Out of Office—Back in the Office on (Date)

Hello there,

Thank you for your message. I’m currently out of the office, taking a break to recharge my batteries.

I’ll be back in action on (return date) and will respond to your message as soon as possible after that.

For urgent matters, please contact my colleague, (colleague’s name), (colleague’s role), at (colleague’s email). They will be able to assist you immediately.

For non-urgent requests, I’ll respond promptly upon my return.

Rest assured, I won’t be away for too long. I’m temporarily trading my ergonomic chair and keyboard for a beach towel—and my spreadsheets for crossword puzzles.

Looking forward to reconnecting when I return, armed with fresh ideas and ready to dive into new projects.

Best regards,
(Your name)
PS: If you have any exciting plans of your own coming up, feel free to share. I’m always on the lookout for new adventure ideas.

Of course, you can always adjust the tone further based on your company culture and personal style.

Is there anything you’d like to add?

PS Listen to George’s AI voice read my out-of-office text:

Mann, was für ‘ne Woche! Ich schwöre, diese Englisch-Sache bringt mich noch um den Verstand. Aber von vorne:

Also, Franz und ich hatten gestern unsere Online-Stunde mit Christine. Franz war natürlich wieder mal Mister Cool (wie macht er das?). Der Typ könnte wahrscheinlich sogar im Schlaf Englisch reden, ich schwör’s.

Jedenfalls plappere ich fröhlich drauf los und erzähle Christine: “We’re really looking forward to the shooting next week.” Ich wollte ja nur sagen, dass wir neue Fotos machen. Aber Christine guckt plötzlich, als hätte ich gesagt, wir planen einen Banküberfall.

Dann erklärt sie uns, dass “Shooting” auf Englisch ‘ne ganz andere Nummer ist. Die denken da an Ballerei und so. Boah, wie peinlich! Stellt dir mal vor, ich hätte das ‘nem echten Ami oder Briten an den Kopf geknallt. Die hätten bestimmt die Polizei gerufen.

Franz fand’s natürlich super witzig. Der hat sich weggeschmissen vor Lachen. Aber weißt du was? Ich auch! Ich meine, wie absurd ist das denn? Da denkt man, man ist voll international unterwegs mit seinem Denglisch, und dann sowas.

Christine meinte, wir sollen “photo shoot” sagen. Klingt irgendwie weniger cool, aber immerhin ruft keiner das SEK, wenn ich das sage.

Fazit des Tages: Englisch ist echt ‘ne Tücke. Aber was soll’s, lieber jetzt blamieren als später vor Kunden, ne? Und mal ehrlich, gelacht haben wir auch. Vielleicht wird das mit dem Englisch ja doch noch was. Aber für’s Erste heißt es wohl: Weniger Denglisch, mehr echtes Englisch.

Bis zum nächsten Mal, wenn es wieder heißt: Greta vs. die englische Sprache.

Deine Greta

Let’s look at some more of those tricky phrases we call euphemisms. Remember—those words or phrases that soften what we’re saying? They can be confusing, even for good speakers of English. So, imagine how confusing they can be for people learning the language.

1. “Taking early retirement”
   You think: Stopping work early by choice. Means: Getting fired! 😱
2. “In the departure lounge”
   You think: Waiting for a flight.  Means: Very old and close to dying 👴👵
3. “Hit the hay”
   You think: Punching some hay. Means: Going to bed 😴
4. “Let go”
   You think: Releasing something. Means: Losing your job 😬
5. “In a correctional facility”
   You think: At a special school. Means: In prison 🚔
6. “Going to see a man about a dog”
   You think: Buying a dog. Means: Going to the toilet or leaving for a secret reason 🐕🚽
7. “A bijou studio flat”
   You think: A cute little apartment. Means: A really, really tiny room 🏠
8. “Not the sharpest pencil in the box”
   You think: A dull pencil. Means: Not very smart 🤓

Remember, English can be weird and fun. Now you know these secret meanings.

Use them carefully. And if you do, you might even surprise some native speakers too! 😉

Imagine a workplace where everyone can understand each other without needing to decode jargon. It’s not only possible—it’s within reach.

Here are five overused workplace jargon phrases and their clearer alternatives:

• ASAP: Instead of this vague phrase, specify a clear deadline. For example, “Please send me the report by Friday afternoon at the latest.”
• Keep me in the loop: Try “Keep me updated” or “Please let me know how it’s going.”
• Team player: Be more descriptive and use words like “collaborative,” “supportive,” or “helpful.”
• Give 110%: Focus on doing your best instead of aiming for the impossible.
• Back to square one: Say “Let’s start over” or “We need to rethink this.”

Think of jargon as a fog in the workplace—it blurs communication and slows progress. By swapping these overused phrases for clearer alternatives, you’ll communicate more effectively. The result? Fewer misunderstandings and a productivity boost.

Let’s break free from the jargon trap and create a more effective and enjoyable workplace.

Want to share more jargon-busting tips? Let me know your favourite clear and concise phrases.

Together, we can turn our workplaces into jargon-free zones.