Take a look at Marissa Solomon Shandell’s artwork.

What do your conversations look like?

Do you skip the small talk and dive into deep conversations straightaway?

Or do you start with small talk and gradually move to deeper topics?

Whichever tactic you use, it helps to have some “deep” conversation starters up your sleeve.

These might work for you:

• What does it mean to live a good life?
• How have your strengths helped you to succeed?
• What is the hardest decision you have ever had to make?
• What are your biggest goals for your life?
• Where do you find meaning in your life?
• What do you value most in other people?
• What is the best piece of advice you have received?

Do you have a deep conversation starter that always works?

There are many reasons why we find it hard to focus. Lack of sleep and exercise, environmental pollution, chronic stress, bad nutrition, and disconnection from others and nature.

So what can we do to learn to pay attention again?

In this amazing interview,  journalist and author Johann Hari talks about his inspiration and experience of going offline. And he gives us ideas on how we can build a life of greater joy, enhanced personal fulfilment and focus. 

Even if you don’t watch the whole interview, listen in at 16:20 when Johann talks about “this moment with my godson who I call Adam”.

Or read the introduction to his book “Stolen Focus“.

If you have an ever-growing to-do list and are not satisfied with your system, you might like to try out Robyn Scott’s great idea. It’ll change how you think about managing your list.

Robyn suggests we make our tasks emotional by creating a few categories that answer the question, “How will doing or completing this task make me feel?”

Some of Robyn’s Category Examples

• Supremely* satisfying — for researching, making a tricky phone call
• Massive relief* — for booking flights
• Highly helpful — for making introductions, giving advice
• Basic decency* — writing thank you notes
• Delight — calling a friend

Could this be a system you’d like to experiment with?

———

* äußerst, höchst
* enorme Erleichterung
* Anstand

Did you know that we actually use the word “Schadenfreude” in English?

It’s when someone else’s bad luck secretly makes us feel good. 

But I don’t have to tell you that, do I?

And what about “Freudenfreude*”? 

It’s rejoicing in someone else’s successes.

The word only exists in English, as far as I know!

“When we feel happy for others, their joy becomes our joy,” says psychologist Marisa G. Franco, author of “Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and—Keep Friends.”

Let’s experience more freudenfreude and less schadenfreude!

_______

*We also have the word confelicity = pleasure in another’s happiness.

Let’s ring in the new year with an old Irish blessing:

Count your blessings instead of your crosses.
Count your gains instead of your losses.
Count your joys instead of your woes.
Count your friends instead of your foes.
Count your smiles instead of your tears.
Count your courage instead of your fears.
Count your full times instead of your lean.
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.
Count your health instead of your wealth.

May your new year be filled with happiness, peace, love and unlimited possibilities. 

Today is known as New Year’s Eve in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, and Hogmanay in Scotland. Time to celebrate the end of the old year and welcome in the new one.

I wonder if you’re celebrating? And if so, how?

“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.”

Paulo Coelho

What feels like the end is often the beginning …