But did you know… we don’t use it in English?

Since the 1990s, Germans have used “Messie” to describe someone who lives in chaos — often collecting things they don’t need.

It sounds English.
It’s based on the word “mess.”
But in English, we don’t say it.

We’d call someone like that a:

• hoarder (or even a compulsive hoarder)
• pack rat (informal)
• junkaholic (less common, but you’ll find it!)

It’s a great example of a false friend — a word that looks or sounds like English, but isn’t used the same way.

(Just like “Handy” for mobile phone. We don’t say that either.)

Fun fact: there’s a “Messie Hilfe Team” in Germany — with an English website!

Next time you’re not sure about a “false friend,” double-check.
It might be almost English, but not quite.

Ever used a word that turned out to be “not English after all”?
I’d love to hear your favourite false friends.

Plurals do not need apostrophes.

The number of times I’ve seen signs like:

• “Fresh apple’s available now!”
• “Happy Hour: 2-for-1 cocktail’s!”
• “Book’s for sale!”

…is enough to make a copy editor weep quietly into their style guide.

Let’s clear this up once and for all:

Plural = no apostrophe.
Possessive = apostrophe.

So:
🍎 🍎 Apples = just more than one apple
🍎 Apple’s = something belonging to an apple (like… its peel or pips?)

Don’t let its size fool you. This tiny squiggle can wreak havoc. And yes, even smart professionals fall into the apostrophe trap.

If grammar rules feel fuzzy, don’t worry. You’re not alone — and that’s exactly the kind of thing we can clean up quickly (and painlessly) in writing coaching.

You’ve now got full permission to drop that rogue apostrophe. Your plurals will thank you.

Most people are surprised when I tell them:
We don’t usually say anything.

Not in Britain, anyway.

After living in Germany for so many years, I’ve learned to say something.
(And of course, it doesn’t hurt!)

So what might I say?

• “I hope you have a nice meal!”
• “Enjoy your meal” or simply “Enjoy!”
• “Bon appétit!” (Yes, that one’s French, but it’s totally fine in English too.)
• “Tuck in!” (very casual and only with family members”)

So if you’ve ever wondered what to say before a meal in English, now you know.

And if you’re curious about British table manners…

Go and watch etiquette expert William Hanson on ITV with Gino and Mel.
(You’ll even learn the proper way to eat peas!)

What do you usually say before a meal?
Let’s compare customs.

Imagine this.

You’re waiting in line at the photocopier.
Someone walks up and says:

🗨️ “Excuse me. I have 5 pages. May I use the photocopier?”

Later, someone else asks:
🗨️ “Excuse me. I have 5 pages. May I use the photocopier because I’m in a rush?”

And then:
🗨️ “Excuse me. I have 5 pages. May I use the photocopier because I have to make copies?”

Who would you let jump the queue?

A Harvard study from the 1970s found:

✔️ 60% let the first person go ahead.
✔️ 94% let the second person go ahead.
✔️ 93% let the third person go ahead.

Even when the reason was… obvious.

Why?
Because “because” works.

It gives people a reason — and that reason makes them more likely to say yes.

Even a simple explanation can build trust, clarity and connection.

Next time you make a request, try adding “because…”
And see what happens.

Have you used this trick before?
I’d love to hear your version.

Not your textbook English.
Not your “please-don’t-judge-me” English.
Your real English.

The one you use when you ask for help.
Share an idea.
Run a meeting.

It might not be perfect.
But it works. And it’s yours.

English isn’t owned by Britain. Or America.
It’s ours — global, messy, powerful.

Let’s stop hiding it.
Let’s stop apologising for it.
Let’s start using it — proudly, clearly and without fear.

Your English is valid. Even when it’s not perfect.