I stopped using “thanks in advance“.

It seems polite, but it assumes the other person will say yes before they’ve had a chance to respond.

That can create pressure.

A better option:

“I’d really appreciate your thoughts on this.“

It’s warm without assuming an outcome. The other person still has room to agree, disagree or ask questions.

A small change, but it can make a request feel more respectful.

Quick win

Try it in your next email.

Replace “thanks in advance” with “I’d really appreciate your thoughts on this” and see how people respond.

💬 How do you end a request without sounding cold or pushy?

You had something to say.

Then someone else said it first.

Not because they had a better idea. They just said it before you did.

A lot of people wait until a sentence feels perfect in their head before speaking. By then, the conversation has already moved on.

The tricky part is that waiting feels productive. It feels like you’re getting ready.

Usually, you’re just delaying.

Most ideas become clearer once you start saying them. You don’t need every word planned in advance. You need enough to begin.

Try speaking when you’re about 70% ready.

The missing 30% often shows up while you’re talking.

Quick win

Next time you’re in a meeting, share your thought before you start editing it in your head.

You might be surprised how often it was exactly what needed to be said.

💬 Have you ever regretted waiting?

A client asked me last week: “What can I do on my own, between sessions?“

My answer surprised her.

In 2006, I wrote my thesis on how German professionals learn English. The finding I think about most: writing makes you a better speaker.

Five minutes a day, a notebook or your phone. No agenda. Just English. Write about your day, your plans, whatever’s on your mind.

What happens is quiet but consistent. Words become more available. Sentences come faster. The pause before speaking, that moment of searching, gets shorter.

Writing is thinking in English, without the pressure of a listening room. It builds the muscles you use when you speak.

Confidence grows in the quiet, not just in the room.

PS: My thesis is in the library at the University of Dundee.

Spell-check won’t catch this one.

‘Your‘ and ‘you’re‘ are both real words. Both look right at a glance. Both show up in professional emails every day, often swapped.

The mistake happens because you’re thinking faster than you’re typing. Your fingers choose one word while your brain meant the other.

A simple check

If “you are” works in the sentence, use ‘you’re’.

If it doesn’t, use ‘your‘.

That’s it.

Before sending your next email, read it out loud once. Your ear will often catch what your eyes missed.

💬 Which word mix-up trips you up most?

Most meetings start the same way.

A few comments about the weather. A quick complaint about traffic. Then everyone gets down to business.

There’s a better opener:

“How’s your week going so far?“

It’s simple, but it gives people something real to answer.

Instead of jumping straight into the agenda, you give the other person space to share what’s actually happening in their world. Maybe they’re having a great week. Maybe they’re dealing with a deadline. Maybe they just got back from vacation.

You learn more in 30 seconds than you would from five minutes of small talk.

You don’t need to be naturally chatty to use it. Just ask the question and pay attention to the answer.

One genuine exchange can make the rest of the conversation easier, more productive and more human.

Quick win

Try it before your next meeting:

“How’s your week going so far?“

Then listen. And see where it takes you.

💬 Do you have a go-to opening question?

“Sorry for my English” sounds polite. To you. The listener hears something different.

They hear, “Don’t trust what I’m about to say“.

They weren’t thinking about your English until you mentioned it.

The apology doesn’t protect you from judgement. It invites it. You’ve framed your own words as unreliable before anyone else had the chance.

The listener who matters most is you. And you’ve just told yourself, again, that you’re not quite ready.

Skip the warning. Start with your first sentence.

Quick win

Next time the apology forms, let it go. Begin with what you want to say. The English will follow.

💬 Have you noticed yourself doing this?